Politically unaware cops are both scary and comforting.

So today at work I had just clocked in after being late by an entire shift when a police cruiser pulls up. While I did end up sleeping a bit this morning it was not nearly enough and thus I could see sobriety looming on the horizon like some urine saturated rest-stop on a long interstate drive. But I wasn't there yet. "This will be fun", I thought.

I managed work myself into a position where I would be the one to wash the cruiser. Not a very difficult thing to do at a carwash where the vast majority of the employees, due to confrontations in the past, find being in close proximity to a cop car somewhat less than magical.

While I was drying the car the cop came out and began to waddle awkwardly around the car. Inspecting my work. He was the stereotypical cop. Complete with buzz-cut with moustache. Jaw moving independently of all brain function to chew a withered piece of gum that is probably only removed on occassion to temporarily make room for donuts. Showtime:

Me: "Hey man, hows it goin'?"

Pork: "Pretty good man. Gotta get it cleaned up for inspection tonight. They'll be doing the White Glove exam tonight."

Me: (under my breath) "That sounds kinda dirty."

Fatback: "Huh?"

Me: "What?"

Awkward silence...

Me: "So, looks like the Patriot Act is going to become permanent. Its renewal and permanence passed congress and you know that G.W. isn't going to veto."

Bacon: "Eh... I haven't really kept up with it."

Me: (under my breath) "I am sorry, I think I just shat myself a little."

Tenderloin: "Huh?"

Me: "Nothing. Nothing at all."