Tuesday, February 21, 2006

They now seel good karma at Hardees.

My car is fixed. I did it without taking it to a dealership and it cost me $70.
The other day i went to Hardees for breakfast. I ordered and drove around to the drivethrough window. As I was waiting for my beef/soy/god-only-knows-what-else burger a rather large pear-shaped woman on the other side of the glass began to clean the windows. She cleaned the inside with relative ease however to do the outside she attempted to reach her massive arm between the panes of glass and wipe them from inside. Needless to say this resulted in an awkward display of thrashing that was reminiscent of the cheesy post-mortem twitches found in some low budget action movies. Seeing as i was one the outside and could easily reach the areas that she was desperately flailing at I offered my services:
"Do you want some help with that?"
"No, but thank you honey! *turns to fellow coworkers* GIVE HIM SOME HOT FRIES!"
I left with a large order of fresh fries, as opposed to the small order of gelatinous sticks that they usually pawn off on people trying to use their student discount, a large drink, and two free cinnamon raisin biscuts. Karma man... karma.
Anywho later on me and Michelle went to Fort Fisher. While we were there i kept seeing all of these burn-out marks in the gravel parking lot. Like people were getting pissed off and flooring their cars as they left. Who the hell goes to the beach and is unpleasantly surprised? "THERES SO MUCH FUCKING WATER!!!"
I also saw one of the saddest things that i have ever seen. In the food court of the mall. There was this little asian woman who was giving out free samples of orange chicken for "Ming Tree" restaraunt. I walked by her and she held out the poultry particle and looked at me with these big puppy-dog eyes that seemed to say "Prease take the chicken. Prease." It was the saddest thing ever. And she was stereotypically short too so all i could do was envision her trying to get something off a top shelf "Prease get this down. Prease." I also imagined her offering a small piece of chicken to Shaqueal O'neal and him getting confused and just eating her instead and leaving the sample piece of chicken lying in the middle of the food court floor. The cook behind the buffet of Ming Tree would then simply go back to the back and open a closet which contains hundreds of sample-women. He would rummage through them in search of one with the latest expiration date.

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